Emotional Rollercoaster

For some stupid reason, I'm upset. There really isn't any sort of major reasoning behind it, it's just that things aren't necesarily going my way and so I'm mad about it. Examples:

1. Signing up for group work. I accidentally signed up for a different group, and so I'm working with some people I'm not too familiar with. I am SO MAD about it. I can't even comprehend it.
2. Taking a class because I would know people and so I wouldn't have problems finding a partner. WRONG. I ended up having to reach out to random people because the professor asked us to find partners right away. It drives me crazy.
3. Making a fool of myself in front of the lab professor. I should be more active and much more devoted. Instead, I'm not looking too sharp.
4. Being nervous about presentations. I wish I wasn't rushing and being such a wuss.

GAHHH. I'm just so tired of all of this. I want the hormones to go away and just to be a much more balanced me.

Fight On!

Tonight, Manny Pacquiao is fighting Miguel Cotto. As a huge Filipino icon, there's bound to be parties and get-togethers tonight to watch the big fight. My family is no exception. Plus, it's my brother's birthday, and so there's bound to be some extra fun. Go Manny!

I changed the layout. Again. Unfortunately, my tastes change far too often, and I don't even know how long I'm going to keep this layout. As for now, it's good. Also, I changed the title of the blog, and the tagline. I think it encapsulated more about who I am. I may not know where I'm going in life, or what exactly I want and need in life, but I always know that I should really stop dwelling on the negative and really start looking at what I can do better, or look at my own situation in comparison to others. I'm in a pretty good situation, and as a woman, I feel incredibly grateful that I don't experience any sort of major injustices that women experience in general throughout the world.

The title of this post really is just to be much more positive. I've got a gnarly schedule next week, and I have to keep pushing on, or try to be motivated about studying. It's definitely not going to be easy, but I have to try. I didn't do well on the first exam for genetics, and I feel pressured to do much better, like a B. There's a lot of work to do, as some of the processes are not easy to grasp. I just need to motivate myself, that's all.

It's tough right now to be motivated- the Lakers have games, I think I have a crush on one of my friends in my T/Th meetups, and I have to be focused. Wish me luck!

Lab update

hmmm. I'm running an experiment and there's a lot of downtime. How do I spend it? By wasting time and taking quizzes on facebook of course!

What's your Inner Nationality? GERMAN. You are precise yet romantic, efficient yet dreamy, friendly yet somewhat suspicious of others. You rarely smile, but when you do it's very meaningful. You like it best when there is a group consensus, and yet you are easily annoyed by the slowness and/or stupidity of others. Sometimes you think that if only you could live on an island or move to some wonderful place far away, everything would be better, and if you can't realize this dream you often lose yourself in books/vacations/recipes/sports -- anything for an escape! All in all, however, you make your peace with life, and have many old friends.

Ok, never mind. I realize I should be a lot more productive. I just read what I wrote this morning, and yeah, I should follow it. Until next time!

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life/Semester Update!

So it's nearing the midpoint of the semester. Hmmm. Unfortunately, I feel that I've been rather mediocre in a lot of my classes and I think I'm ready to step it up. At least, I'll have to try in some capacity. So here's what's going on:

• In the lab, I've been feeling a bit guilty- I haven't really been spending too much time here, and I feel like I really need to be taking some time out of my day to really devote myself to it, instead of just kinda going when I want to. I also am feeling a bit weird, as I'm hardly ever talking to the professor leading the lab. You'd think that we'd be spending more time together, but apparently not. It's just been sorta awkward. I think I need to exert more effort on that front too.
• Genetics it taking up a lot of time. The professor isn't as scary as before, but she does keep you on your toes. Have to keep working. Lots of reading. I still haven't gotten back my first exam, so I'm still tentative as to how I'm approaching this class, and whether or not I need to crank it up a notch or what.
  
• Biochem is a really tough class. unfortunately, I'm not really spending a lot of time with it. It's hard to focus on something that I frankly don't find that interesting. I have a quiz on Thursday, so I'll have to work on it more.
• Mycology is so irritating. It's such an easy class, yet I'm getting a B in it. I'm working waaay to hard to just get a B. I want a A. It's 5 units!
• Molec Cell is just like the unwanted child. No attention at all. I want an A in that too, but I got a high C/low B on that test. It's tricky, since all the questions are multiple choice. Thankfully, it's a furlough day, as I've been fighting back sleep every time I'm in that class.

Over the weekend, I saw the musical Spamalot and I found it absolutely enjoyable/hilarious. I am not Dead yet! Hopefully, when I get more money, I can get Monty Python and the Holy Grail on DVD. Absolutely brilliant. Also, I introduced my friend to mineral makeup. OMG she loves it. I swear by this stuff, so I'm really happy to spread the joy all around.

Unfortunately, I'm still unemployed, but I'm dealing with it. I'm not actively looking for a job, and I've got a lot on my plate already.

Over the weekend, I was watching old episodes of House and I realized how much I love the old episodes. The dynamic between House and the other characters, especially his team, was just so much better. The new characters just suck. Whiny and honestly take a lot of the plot. I don't really think anyone else really likes them either. Chase. Cameron. Foreman. That's the way to go. and more Wilson too. and cuddy. especially when Cuddy and Wilson are acting like House's parents, dealing with a petulant child.

Oh, and Jim and Pam got married! So sweet. I loved that episode. Classic Office. I honestly couldn't stop laughing when Dwight kicked the bridesmaid in the face! LOL and poor Andy, getting a rip in his scrotum!

And I know this is getting ridiculous with all the television shows, but OMG I love the show Glee! So fantastic. It really is a breath of fresh air. Plus, the songs are just great. Honestly, that's pretty much all I listen to now.

Fall '09

I initially wanted to have the "annoying" post and this one put together in one super-post since I haven't posted in a while. However, I did find that I had quite a bit of annoyances in my life that I felt it was taking all the attention away from the fact that the new school year started. Anyway, like discussed in the previous post, briefly, the university is broke, so there are quite a few furlough days. Honestly, I do feel guilty, as I don't think I utilized mine to the full potential. It's okay though, my grandma had cataract surgery, so I was a the hospital for a few hours. So, I just wanted to say that I like having most of the people I know and like in the same classes as me. It's been interesting, to say the least.

class reviews!

• Mycology/Parasitology- The professor for this class is so funny and kinda sweet at the same time. I really like him. He's rather elderly, sort of like a cool grandpa to be honest. A friend of mine took this class last semester and she had positve thing to say, so I'm looking forward to the rest of the class. He does have a rather distracting comb-over though, and sometimes find myself looking at it, but honestly, I think he's such a cool guy, I'll let it slide.

• Molecular Biology- The professor of this class seems like a nice woman. She cracks jokes sometimes and she's really clear in presenting material. Plus, she gives little questions like a study guide, which is great. I also have this class with a friend, so it's even better. Not going to lie, though, the class seems to drag on for what seems like 2x the length of the normal class time.

• Microbial Genetics- I had a rather bad first meeting with this professor. She's a bit intense, and she caught me a bit off guard. During roll, she called me by my middle name, and then proceeded to tell me to speak up or be dropped from her class. Scary, to say the least. Still, she seems tough, but really knowledgeable in the material. I think I'll be enjoying her class.

• Biochemistry I- Wow. Let me just say that. The professor for this class is kinda scary. He's pretty tough and I'm not quite sure yet how I feel about him. He goes through things rather quickly and doesn't speak very loudly. I think I'm going to spend a lot of time going over the material.

Lab work's been going rather well. However, with the furlough and the 3 day weekend too, I'm finding it rather difficult to run experiments, especially as I need to check on them every few days and stuff. I need to just keep working.

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who gets distracted rather easily. Not good, as I recently am totally addicted to the show Glee. It's amazing. Screw the people who say it's like High School Musical. Totally not. Anyway, my Wednesdays will be filled with that show. I'm feeling rather lucky that the Lakers don't start playing until October, or else I'll really be distracted. I <3 those guys. Can't wait for them to get their rings. Too bad about Trevor. and I hope Pau gets his finger healed in time for the EuroBasket. I know it's important for him to play.

God, please give me strength to not blow up. I need to be functioning this week.

Dealing with annoying

So the Fall Semester has officially begun last week, and it's been interesting. I'll give a run-down of each individual professor/class in a bit, but I needed to get some things off my chest first. To begin with, since I'm at the upper-division level, a lot of my classes are with the same people. I really like that, as it's easier to make friends, easier to ask questions, and you know most of the people you're with. It's good. Unfortunately, along with the positive things, there are negatives. For example, if there's an annoying person, you have to deal with that person too. Case in point: last semester, I was taking two classes with one person, back to back, so it would make sense to walk to the other class with the other person. Well, at the end of last semester, we talked about the future, grad school, and how we would need recommendation letters. So, I took the initiative, emailed professors, and ultimately, got the gig at the micro ecology lab on campus. I really like it. The people are nice, I get excited when I see my cultures grow, and I honestly think I'm learning quite a bit. So, when the new semester came around, I gave this person an update, and honestly, I think the person got a nudge and now might be working in the same place as me. Now, typically, I wouldn't really be upset. However, I am finding myself not liking this person that much, and I feel pretty smothered by this person. First of all, I needed to speak to the professor running the lab, and the person felt like he should come along. I don't know if I'm properly explaining my irritation but I am rather irritated. I'm the kind of person who likes to do things alone, like drive alone, shop alone. So for me, I feel pretty damn smothered when people go with me on my errands. I don't want to wish ill on anyone, but I honestly hope this person doesn't get the job in my lab, or I hope this person is never there when I am. Dealing with this person is enough in classes. I just feel that certain sectors of my life should never mix. Certain groups of friends stay in certain groups, and they just don't intermingle, and I'm totally okay with that. I'll just have to be curt as much as possible. I think that sometimes, just giving people the cold treatment is the best thing. Hopefully, they get the hint.

Funny, this person hangs out with another person that I knew that liked to smother other people, liked to call all the time, just be annoying. I wonder if that's some sort of coincidence or not.

Here's another thing. The other day, I went to my friend's house to hang out and unfortunately, her brother's family was there too. Now here's the thing. I hate her brother. He's so annoying and he thinks he knows everything. As a result, he keeps talking to you and it's about something you don't want to hear about. Oh, and his wife works where I used to work. She's the one that got me the job. Anyway, she's really sweet. He's not. So when I came over to see my friend, I was not happy to see him there. I keep thinking, please please don't talk to me and just watch your kids and talk to your parents instead. Alas, not so lucky. To make matters worse, the first thing he says to me is , "So I heard you got laid off at work." Oh gee. Thanks for rubbing that in my face. So I try to play it off, by saying "It's alright. I mean, well, what can I do, you know, the university is broke." Then he proceeds to say: "That's not true. It's the budget that's the problem." "Well, yeah, I know. I've been getting long emails about that from the university." I think to myself, gosh, my self-esteem is in the dumpster right now. Just please, you made a very bad attempt at small talk, so you can go away now. Still unlucky. He starts talking about the budget. First, I don't like talking to him, and to make matters worse, he talks about the last thing I ever want to talk about. Politics. So he asks a rather invasive question, "so what political party do you belong to?". I answer honestly, hoping he won't keep asking more. Then, he proceeds to talk about Obama's health care reform plans and asks how I feel about it. I tell him, "honestly, I don't know enough about it to really make an informed decision, but I know it's been in the news a lot recently". Apparently, that's not enough to send him away, and he tells me a lot of things, especially about how Obama is a socialist and how I should be complaining and pretty much urging my congressman to vote against it. If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's when people try to push a particular political agenda in my face. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off about that. Definitely not helping me like you more. Go away.

workin' day and night

On Friday, my boss told me that I would be let go by the start of the Fall Semester. Honestly, for the last few months, I felt like I wanted to quit, due to the fact that I wasn’t getting a lot of hours, and the hours weren’t really that great for my schedule. Still, even though the situation was really tough, I always felt that the job was safe, and that I had a good hourly rate. Plus, with all the crazy unemployment in the country and in the state, recently, I’ve felt that just having a job was a good thing. Over the last few weeks, a lot of the staff members were going to union meetings to discuss scary things like furloughs and layoffs. So of course I had no reason to think my job was secure. Now that I’ve been given the warning and by the end of the month I’ll be unemployed, I’m scared. Over the last year and a half, I’ve been able to pay for my own expenses and had some sort of independence. It’ll be a weird feeling having to borrow money from my parents for awhile. Searching for a job will be rather difficult, given that most companies aren’t hiring and that I’m a full-time student. Wish me luck.